$ __ ._
_ . ____ _\ ____ ( .
/ _\\ /_____\ //_ _/
\_ _/ _ _ \_
# __) . _((-))_ . )_ __
_\ )) - - (( /_
- ) . \ ^ / ( #
____ . \ ____\-_/ '- \_-/____ /. _________
¾¾¾¾ \ \ ) ~_\`--^--'/_~ .( \ ) ½¾¾¾ ¾¾¾½
¾¾¾¾ _/ _(-- · · --)_ \\_/_ ¾¾¾¾ ¾¾¾¾
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¾¾¾¾ )_ _/ (_/--)·(--\_) \_ _( ¾¾¾¾ ¾¾¾¾
¾¾¾¾ \ / _/ _ \_ \ / ¾¾¾¾ ¾¾¾¾
¾¾¾¾ ((__)) \ _)_ / ((__)) ¾¾¾¾ ¾¾¾¾
¾¾¾¾ ____ ~__/___ /-\ ___\__~ ¾¾¾¾ ¾¾¾¾
¾¾¾¾ ¾¾¾¾ ) . \( )/ . ( ¾¾¾¾ ¾¾¾¾
½¾¾¾___¾¾¾½ .O. .w. / (\ _\ /_ /) \ .p. .R. ½¾¾¾___¾¾¾½
(_ ~ _\_ _/_ ~ _)
_/.---(_)( )(_)---.\_
-)) _\ /_ ((-
/_______(( ))_______\
P R O G E N E R A T E D
droppingbombsonyourmoms
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Have you ever felt that feeling of complete and utter boredom
when you look through an ascii (tm) pack? That annoying pain
in your heart, telling you this can't be all that there is to
ascii (tm)! Don't feel bored or annoyed any longer, because
we at High Profit Industries (tm) bring you a great invention
to take away these problems. Before we go any further on this
superb piece of technology we offer you, lets introduce our
worldfamous, "as-seen-on-television", high-technology company
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H i g h P r o f i t I n d u s t r i e s
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._((_ 7_((_ 7_(( 7_._(( 7__((_7_._(( 7_
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l______| l_\ \l_________/______|- l_______/______|rDm
\______\ ..............
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. and you host for tonite will be .
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______ ____ ______
. ._((_ 7_((____7._((_ 7_ .
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\/\ \ l_\ \l_________/___// / _|__
_/ \______\ /______/ : /
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.:... :.- | r E D M U 7 H A F U C K Ì N D E M O n / \| : ....
:. : :| _|____ ____ ______ ____ __\___ : : :
:| : : ._((_ 7_._((____7._((\/ 7_(( 7_._((_ 7_ : : :
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| l_______/| / \\______/ \ rDm
|_ l__\/_________\ _\
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Now that you have met the company that is going to lift you
from your eternal misery, lets see what they have to offer.
In other words, let us introduce to you our newly designed,
NASA (tm) technology used, special bargain-priced product!
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T h e A l l O f f i c i a:l A s c i i D r i n k i n g G a m e.
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1. every time you have to skip three screens of board adds, take half a
glass of beer.
2. for every time you see a Fine Line add (Low Profile HQ) drink the rest
of the glass.
3. every time you cross a Hosee-add, sink a beer.
4. if the pack start with no design what so ever, and just shows a lame
line of text, giving a short intro, take another half-a-beer.
5. for every following line of text shown in this way, double the amount
of beer (so it's, half/full/2/4/etc glasses)
6. if the lines are written in "yO-y0-I'm-TO-dEmn-k0ol-sTYlEe", drink the
same amount of beers shown at rule 5, but after you sank them, smash
them on your bare head.
7. every time you see cliche statements like: "name" is back.. or "name"
is proud to present, take a tequila straight up.
8. when the name-logo shows and its an amiga-scene-artist, take two beers.
9. when the name-logo shows a pc-scene-artist, pick up you screen, walk
to the nearest building which is over 12 stories high.If you have to
walk all the way up, take another shot a vodka/Red Bull (tm) to speed
things up.If there's an elevator, don't bother, just take the stairs
anyway, to earn that drink.When you reach the top, put the screen down
and take a piss all over it (don't even think about throwing it down!)
1o. Now we move on to the group logo.Here's a list of groups, and behind
it is the recipe of what to do.
Mo'Soul - evil bastards, who drink whiskey.Better do the same, and to
show off to Mark Ryder, make it a tripple.
Style - do it live, act insane, feed your pet with a six-pack
Save Our Souls - act bored, better drink a coke and go to bed
Twisted - put a lemon on your left food, balance on your right, and
poor a beer down your nose.
Pro Arts - don't worry, you won't see any more of those logos
Jedi Arts - act like Luke Skywalker.Do the same thing as when you would
see a Twisted logo, but now use the force (tm?) to prepare a cocktail
for Boba Fett, while you keep Leia flying an inch above the couch with
her legs spread.
Low Profile - this is a tough one. Drink a tripple whiskey/coke, while
feeding your pet a six-pack, while having a lemon on your left food,
standing on the right food.Ask someone to poor beer down your nose,
as you also prepare a cocktail for Boba and keep Leia busy... and remember
kids, NO CHEATING!
You can also slam a bottle of GoldStrike, and light a phat blunt..
11. if the group logo shows some dumb-ass group you never even heard of,
rotate your head 90 degrees to the left, and puke all over your new
carpet floor.Let is stain for an hour or two, and then remove it all
with you tongue.
12. if its a respect collection, then there are two roads you can travel
(and they you not to drink and drive :). If your name is in the
respect list, jump up wild, waking up your neighbours, their neighbours,
and the rest of the block. Then grap you cat by the tail and swing that
little sucker around 'till his eyes start to spin.When you're done and
sweaty, clean up the cats puke sprayed all over the walls (don't forget
any guts, and do remove the bloodtraces) and sit your ass back down
behind the screen.
If your name isn't in the list, too bad.
13. if you see a logo saying "red demon" or "low profile", get your drunkenass
together, and email them logos to deurmatt@yahoo.com.. NOW!
14. When your name shows in a respect collection, see rule 12. Only now,
instead of picking up your kitty cat, go over to your girlneighbour,
and dance a swift tango with, then offer heir that cocktail you
actually made for Boba Fett some rules ago.
15. when you run upon an outro telling you, the artist hoped you enjoyed the
pack and all that, slam a mixed GoldStrike/Tequila and try to puke over
your cat (all artists own a cat).This alone can be a nice game aswell,
perhaps a nice idea for your next pack?
16. when you see a line saying EOF.. place your head gently on the keyboard,
close your red eyes, dream the dream of the gods and sleep well.
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aLMOSt A mONTh hAs pASSEd... bUt nOw hEs bACk wITh hIs
4tH cOLLECTIOn, tHIs bEATy iS cALLEd aRt aTTACk! yEp yOURe
rIGHt, iM bACk! iTs dA aLMIGHTy cRUSADEr fASTEr tHAn eVEr!
tO bE aS pRODUSIVe aS pOSSIBLe iS mY gOAl, aNd I tHINk tHAt iS
sOMETHINg eVERYBODy oN tHe sCENe sHOULd bE tHINKINg aBOUt! cOz iF
tHERe aRe nO rELEASEs, tHEn tHERe wILL nOt bE aNy sCENe lEFt!!!
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quote from Crusader, taken from cdr-aa!.txt
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._ _____________\\ : |_) | | (_|_| : //______________
| .___/ : |_| : \___
| ______ _ : ______ ____ :______ ______ |
|_ ._((_ 7__((_7_._((_ 7_._((____7 ._((_ 7_((_ 7_ _|
(_ | / / /| / /| ____/__ | /. / /______/ _)
/- |. / __/ \| \ \| \ \| // __/_______ .\ -\
||/ /| \ \ \ \ \ / /| / \\
l_\ \| ./ / / / \ \l___________/ /
\______\ //| / /|. /| \ \ rDm /->
l_____/.| / / || / l___\ \ ·
:l_/ / l______/ . \______\
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L o w P: r o R i d e r s
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greets and respect to all the peeps i know in the ascii scene
hope you will all keep this bizz going, with or without xtra
measures like ganja or bottles of tequila... red demon ^ lp!
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<-:-| /__ __\ |---....:
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. )___( : :.. : .:
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i ate the devil for breakfast
his evil is upon in me, |_
so now im red"evil"deee |/
| /-->
before i swallowed i had /|
to break his neck fast |
a.scream, souls breaking free
| |
out came his guts, |
as i twisted his nuts |
stabbin the heart he didnt have
| .
as my eyes turned red, |
anger made me blind |
the screamin made me deaf :
| |
i|ate the devil for breakfast
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_ __ _____:_ _________:___
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| _/\ _____/ | \\ \\/_
_ _ _| / \_ \_____ \\_
_ //\ \ / / / '/
_\\/ \ /\____/______/\_______/
\\//
.o] WEDNES\/DAY 30TH OF AUGUST 1995 [o.
_ _ ____ _______ _ ___ ____ _____ ___ ____ , . .,.
\/ \ \ / \/ \/ \ \ . ,..,.;..
_ __ .\ \_ \/ __ \ .\ \ .\ .,;.'',
| \\ | / / // \\ \ \\ .;'.' .
| | \\ _____/ // | \\ \\ ..
_| \\_\______ // / \\_ \\_..
\ '/ / ~~ /\ / '/ _ '/.
\_______/______/\____/ \____/\_______/___\ //
: : \ /.
:::::::::::::: \\//
taken from rdm-grdy.txt \/
::::::::::::::
my very first ascii collection
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Interview with Dartagnan's Dog.. (Dogs|name is Timbo)
| |
| |
Dtn: Hey Timbo.. how's things? |
| |
Timbo: bark bark _|_
| |/
Dtn: You don't say?.. /
| /|
Timbo: bark | |
| |
Dtn: Waddayamean I'm a drug fucked spaced out cowboy
cunt, with hair so long i look like a sheila?..
Who payed for your fucken dinner tonite? eh?
not that slut of a mutt that your sorry ass is
poking everynight.. coz you can't get off your
lazy fat arse and go over the road and hose the
guts outta that new poodle that moved in last week.
| |
Timbo: woof woof |
| |
Dtn: I don't a rats left testie if you can lick your own
balls. | |
| |
Timbo: Woof Woof Woof |
| |
Dtn: Well at least I don't pick up stray mongrels that
aren't eaten on polish imigration ships I wouldn't
even fuck those dogs with a polack's dick..
<although he may be interested> |
| |
Timbo: Grrrrrr |
| |
Dtn: Shuttup and have another bong.. it's been waiting
here for.a good 2 seconds. |
| |
Timbo: Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.... burp... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
| |
Dtn: I thought dogs were carnivores?.. |
| |
Timbo: Woof Woof Woof |
| |
Dtn: Hehehe yeah, I like my greens too:=)
| |
Timbo: Bark Bark.. |
| |
Dtn: Yeah.. well.. night Timbo, I gotta do some ascii..
otherwise Tango will come over wearing that slim
red dress.. I dont think i can bear anymore of
that.. I mean its a nice dress and all but I'd
rather have my girlie in it.. |
| |
Timbo: But we|are outta dope! _| _
| ( (_)
Dtn: What the|fuck? a talking dog.. |
| |
Timbo: What the fuck? a barking human..|
| |
| |
| |
** A Man and his dog are Soul Brothers for ever. ** ::::::::::::::
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<666> Mental Countdown Completed <666>
<bOhEmE> IT'S RAINING MEN
<bOhEmE> oh shit
<red-demon> halleyluya
<bOhEmE> haehaheh
<red-demon> o yeah
<red-demon> its raining men
<Dezibel> 99 red ballons
<bOhEmE> I knew it
<red-demon> halleyluya
<red-demon> its raining men
<red-demon> o yeah
<red-demon> hehe
<bOhEmE> hehe
<bOhEmE> stop that :)
<red-demon> damn.. that song sucks
<bOhEmE> why don't I change channel?
<red-demon> i hate it
<bOhEmE> have you seen the VIDEO?
<red-demon> even worse then the beegees
<bOhEmE> those fat mommas rocking
<red-demon> beegees suck deepest
<bOhEmE> beegees rule :)
<red-demon> shove it man
<bOhEmE> and they're more like 70's I think
<red-demon> no way
Crusader [session@dialup85-7-3.swipnet.se] has joined #ascii
<bOhEmE> hehe
<red-demon> cdr
mode/#ascii [+o red-demon] by bOhEmE
<bOhEmE> hups
<bOhEmE> 80's .. shit .. they should ban these commercials
<red-demon> cdr: its raining men
<bOhEmE> AXEL F
<bOhEmE> well that's the first good tune
<Crusader> red boh tri fun fat pho elv dez
<red-demon> cdr: halleyluya
<bOhEmE> cdr: o yeah
<red-demon> heh
<bOhEmE> :)
<red-demon> damn.. i luv hash
<bOhEmE> nice singing :)
<red-demon> thanks
<bOhEmE> cdr: it's raining men
<red-demon> i do my best
<red-demon> bhe: cdr doesn't like it
Crusader wears a raincoat
<red-demon> haahah
<red-demon> cdr!!
<red-demon> =]
<bOhEmE> rdm: no he loves it :)
<bOhEmE> OH SHIT
<red-demon> what?
<red-demon> your flie's open?
<bOhEmE> now they're advertising this this this.. crossa
<Crusader> haha
<bOhEmE> cross
<bOhEmE> that has a ROCK inside it
<bOhEmE> the stones are supposed to be from the cave jesus was born in
<red-demon> amazing bo..
<red-demon> amazing
<red-demon> jees christ
<bOhEmE> oh shit
<red-demon> thats holy shit then
<red-demon> if jesus is involved
<bOhEmE> the guy talking in this commercial is the guy from Knight Rider
<bOhEmE> no no no
<bOhEmE> my mistake
<bOhEmE> sheez
<red-demon> yah
<red-demon> the guy from babewatch
<red-demon> David hasselhofffff
<bOhEmE> "these stones came actually from the site where jesus was born"
<red-demon> thats the bloke
<red-demon> my ass
<bOhEmE> "jesus came to me"
<bOhEmE> "in the form of this stone"
<red-demon> jesus wasnt born, he was a virgin
<red-demon> hmm. no .. thats wrong
<Crusader> damn
<bOhEmE> oh shit this is too stoned programming
<red-demon> let me see here
<Crusader> wankers
<Crusader> gimme a porn site
<red-demon> jeses was born..
<bOhEmE> I was this cool shirt
<bOhEmE> "JESUS WAS A WHORE"
<red-demon> but maria wasn't
<bOhEmE> SAW
<bOhEmE> not was
<bOhEmE> I've never been a shirt :)
<red-demon> cause she WAS a virgin
<bOhEmE> <bOhEmE> I was this cool shirt
<bOhEmE> tired or what
<red-demon> so..
<red-demon> hmm, jesus was..
<bOhEmE> they artifically insaminated her?
<bOhEmE> artificially
<red-demon> moslim
<red-demon> thats it
<red-demon> jesus was moslim, but was born
<red-demon> but since he was moslim,
<bOhEmE> I had to change channel
<bOhEmE> I've seen that before
<red-demon> he died three months after
<red-demon> shot in the head,
<red-demon> by the three wisemen
<red-demon> from the east
<red-demon> Saddam was one of them
<red-demon> saddam bombed jesus
<red-demon> cause he saw this big star
<red-demon> and he thought it was a rocket from George
<bOhEmE> "religions are the worst mental illnesses - 'cause they spread"
<bOhEmE> Saddam is too clever
<red-demon> so he bombed israel
<bOhEmE> Saddam raped Maria :)
<red-demon> and jesus was born in Isreal
<bOhEmE> George Bush: "no more taxes - read my lips - no more taxes"
<red-demon> so.. he died
<bOhEmE> Israel rules
<red-demon> and thats the scoop rite there
<bOhEmE> Israel buys gas-masks from Finland!!!!!!!! :)
<bOhEmE> and Kuwait too
<red-demon> thats it peeps.. no more stories
<bOhEmE> and sum other Middle East countries
<red-demon> btw.. then George killed Jesus
<bOhEmE> hehe
<red-demon> damn.. thats hard
<bOhEmE> the makers of these gas-masks were taking the supplies of The Finnish
Army and repacking them and reselling to Israel.. clever
bOhEmE is Back.
<red-demon> you were never gone asswipe
<bOhEmE> rdm: now you see
<red-demon> cdr: you awake?
<bOhEmE> rdm: the guys who wrote the bible were clever story-tellers :)
<red-demon> indeed they were
<Crusader> no
<red-demon> 'kay
<Crusader> you didnt give me any porn site
<Crusader> so im searching for my own :)
<Crusader> wankers
<bOhEmE> cdr: www.xxxpassword.org
<red-demon> better yet.. make your own!
<red-demon> cdr: did you just call me a wanker?
<red-demon> are you accusing me of wanking?
<red-demon> i cant even wank.. im a virgin
<red-demon> so..
<red-demon> that makes me jesus
<Crusader> red: since you reacted, then it was you who i called a wanker :)
bOhEmE notices that he got a pay-raise
<red-demon> in theory
<bOhEmE> I just noticed it in my paycheck
<bOhEmE> not much but some
<red-demon> cdr: you got me on that one
<bOhEmE> I wonder why.. and why my boss didn't mention it
<bOhEmE> red-demon: since you're jesus
<red-demon> sure.. go rite ahead
<red-demon> on your knees boy
<red-demon> kneel for the almighty God of ascii
<Crusader> who's that
<red-demon> !topic >lP!< we wank.. ALOT (rDm) >lP!<<
Hosee has changed the topic on channel #ascii to: >lP!< we wank.. ALOT
(rDm) >lP!<<
<red-demon> cdr: no more wanking for you tonite?
<Crusader> !kick
bOhEmE kneels
<red-demon> hehe
<red-demon> !kick crusader
<Crusader> im wanking rihgt now
<red-demon> hehe
<Crusader> i love text
<Hosee> Do i smell a lamer?
Crusader was kicked off #ascii by Hosee (dON'T fUCK wITH red-demon <rB!>)
<red-demon> !invite crusader
ð bOhEmE wonders how long does he have to be kneeled down
befeater [~xxxx.xxxx@nym104.pp.dlc.fi] has joined #ascii
Crusader [session@dialup85-7-3.swipnet.se] has joined #ascii
<red-demon> on your feet boy
befeater was kicked off #ascii by bOhEmE (kneel before your ascii GOD)
befeater [~xxxx.xxxx@nym104.pp.dlc.fi] has joined #ascii
<Crusader> !analsex
<red-demon> !op crusader
-Hosee(~hosee@odie.et.fnt.hvu.nl)- Attempting to op crusader <rB!>
ùíù mode/#ascii [+o Crusader] by Hosee
bOhEmE gets on his feet
<red-demon> bhe: now stand on your hands
<bOhEmE> befeater: kneel before red-demon
bOhEmE stands on his hands
<red-demon> good doggy
<Crusader> imoff
<Crusader> cya kiddies
Crusader [session@dialup85-7-3.swipnet.se] has left #ascii
<befeater> give me some efnet server?
<red-demon> later dad
<red-demon> befeater: i beg your pardon
<red-demon> did i see you on your knees till they bleed?
bOhEmE wonders how long does he have to stand on his hands
<befeater> no, i dont want that server machine, just address
<red-demon> bhe: okay.. now kick befeaters ass
<red-demon> hard
<befeater> cmoon red.
befeater was kicked off #ascii by bOhEmE (HARD)
befeater [~xxxx.xxxx@nym104.pp.dlc.fi] has joined #ascii
<befeater> auts.
<red-demon> befeater: get it?
befeater drops on his knees
<bOhEmE> red-demon: satisfied?
<red-demon> bhe: good job, my arch-angel of death
<red-demon> i give you a raise
<red-demon> high heels for you
<red-demon> now you're closer to God
<bOhEmE> woooooooooooooooooh
<red-demon> befeater: what is it you need?
bOhEmE bursts into multiple orgasms
<red-demon> bhe: wipe
<red-demon> take a tissue
<befeater> red: some efnet address
bOhEmE notices that befeater is the only non-op here
befeater masturbates to bleed
bOhEmE wipes
<red-demon> befeater: irc.cris.com
befeater was kicked off #ascii by bOhEmE (HARDER)
befeater [~xxxx.xxxx@nym104.pp.dlc.fi] has joined #ascii
<befeater> tnx
<red-demon> befeater: now get of your knees
<red-demon> and put your thumb up your ass
<red-demon> bhe: those are the highest heels i got
<red-demon> how about a ladder?
<bOhEmE> red-demon: I wanna fly man
<bOhEmE> :)
<red-demon> bhe: make befeater put his thumb up his ass
<red-demon> bhe: and i will give thee hash
bOhEmE forces befeater to put his thumb up his hass
<red-demon> ass! you morron.. ass
<red-demon> not his hass..
<red-demon> I cant ask him to stick his thumb, where there is no place!
bOhEmE forces befeater to put his thumb up his ass
<bOhEmE> sorry
<red-demon> better
befeater masturbates harder, instestined out of stomach, flay the flesh just
to find the inner organs, liver blown into million of pieces, burn
out spleen ready to be eaten, ribs impaled trough the stomach, heart
executed, hanged with the rectum, mixing the muddle with faeces and
urine, underdone in the boiling blood, AND ENJOYS IT ALL..aah..
<red-demon> befeater: i dont give a ratt ass what you do in your spare time..
<red-demon> put your thumb up your ass
befeater finally stands up
<red-demon> now!
<bOhEmE> I bet that was clipped from some homepage :)
<befeater> red: well, i do that anyway
befeater was kicked off #ascii by bOhEmE (HARDEST)
befeater [~xxxx.xxxx@nym104.pp.dlc.fi] has joined #ascii
<red-demon> bhe: im still holding your hash
<befeater> boh, it was not
<red-demon> better ask him nicely
<bOhEmE> sure was
bOhEmE forces befeater to put his thumb up where there is no place
<red-demon> i can use my servant hosee, arch-angel of terror
<befeater> boh: i ripped it from one of my songs, allmost staright :) but
still mine
<bOhEmE> befeater: please
<bOhEmE> heh
<bOhEmE> are we tired or are we tired or are we tired
<red-demon> .. !kick befeater till he bleeds?
<befeater> im tired to tired to be tired.
<befeater> boh: weren't you in that bs buss to the party?
<red-demon> befeater, you start to bore me, with that thumb in your mouth
<red-demon> bhe: be nice to him..
<red-demon> or its no hash
hAshie [sOiA@DXXI.hdyn.sci.fi] has joined #ascii
<Hosee> [hAshie] .x( watch your back because i'm on the attack )x.
<red-demon> talkin bout hash
hAshie was kicked off #ascii by bOhEmE (OBEY THE ASCII-GOD RDM NOW!)
hAshie [sOiA@DXXI.hdyn.sci.fi] has joined #ascii
<bOhEmE> red-demon: I'm trying
<Hosee> [hAshie] .x( watch your back because i'm on the attack )x.
<bOhEmE> befeater: please stuck your thumb up your ass .. please
<red-demon> bhe: tell him who's boss
<bOhEmE> befeater: rdm is the boss
<red-demon> bhe: tell hash you asswipe!
<red-demon> damn servants
<bOhEmE> hAshie: rdm is the ascii god - obey him and you'll be rewarded
<hAshie> heheah ok